A gloomy day

This post might end up having a lot of rambling. But since it’s my blog I’m OK with that! Todays weather is a lot like my mood. Gloomy. Early this morning I realized that today is yet another significant anniversary- the anniversary of Gabe’s funeral. I remember so many details and for now they will stay tucked inside my heart and mind.

Today is a Sunday so we went to Mass. It was just my youngest and I, because my husband and middle son were away. I started to feel sad. Almost immediately I felt sad. Eventually I started to feel kind of panicked. I like sitting near the end so I can leave discreetly, but we were in the middle. I also realized that if I left I would be leaving my 12 year old to sit alone, knowing that his sad mom couldn’t stay. So I stayed. It took a huge amount of strength to stay. I cried, but I stayed. And I guess that is really what this journey is about – staying even though I’m crying.