I lived

https://www.google.com/search?q=i+lived+onerepublic+lyrics&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:a16f6e63,vid:k-SGMoDhrlM,st:0

*disclaimer- there might be ads before the video above. You’ve been warned!*

It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve written, and very unbelievably this Thursday will mark 10 1/2 years since I said goodbye to Gabe. The song I shared above makes me think of Gabe. So many of those lyrics are him. He lived big.

“I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah with every broken bone
I swear I lived”

It’s possible I’ve used this song in my blog before- there are so many songs that make me think of his beautiful, complicated soul. Lately he’s been more on my mind. That’s just the way of this grief-moments that seem almost normal speckled with memories and sometimes moments that almost feel like he’s here. I’m thankful for that- but would still really like him to be here, growing up with his brothers- making new memories.

Since he can’t, I guess we have to choose to live as he would- own every second that this world could give. Live well and not waste time. Because he had only 15 years, and no one is guaranteed more time.

For now I will choose to be thankful, live fully, soak in those moments where I feel his presence, and wait for the day when see him in heaven.