Perseverence

Never give up. I was looking for a different song but I came across this one and it fits, so I’m using it. I actually had never heard it before, but I like it!

Sometimes it is really hard to persevere. When Gabe died it felt like the rest of my life would be covered in sadness. For a long time there was not much room for true joy. Happiness at times, but not JOY. As time went on, slowly bits of joy crept back in and I adjusted to life without him.

Just over 6 months ago another extremely difficult thing happened. I haven’t really spelled it out on here, I don’t think. I haven’t named it, but it’s time. I became a single mom. I won’t be discussing the circumstances here, but it was extremely painful and it knocked me down. I began questioning everything about me, and I went through a brutal period of several months where I truly felt worthless.

The thing about life, though, is there aren’t many choices when difficulties emerge. You can give up or you can persevere. And giving up wasn’t an option. So I began adjusting to the new makeup of my family. I began looking for a job that would hopefully come fairly close to meeting my needs, and I learned to be OK alone. I had lots of counseling sessions (and still do!) to help me sort through the complex emotions of single parenthood and remaking myself. I leaned on faith, family, and friends and was hired in a position that I love with a truly amazing team.

The reason I write all of that, though, is because I didn’t think I’d make it. When that storm hit in July I thought I would be miserable and depressed months and years later. But I persevered and faced this challenge head on, and now I’m better for it. I can feel joy again. I’m looking forward to the rainbows that always come after a storm.

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Author: griefmom

I am a single mom to 3 wonderful boys- 2 on earth and one in heaven. I work for a local hospital helping people learn how to be healthier and access resources. I'm Catholic and have faith that I will one day see my son in heaven. This blog is about my journey- as I figure out who I am in the face of an unimaginable loss. Life is difficult but beauty can be found after the struggles.

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